Shadow

*

*

She awoke knowing she wasn’t alone.  Faint moonlight slid through the gauzy summer curtains.  Her heart struck like a gong.  A dark shape, a figure in the corner, appeared as a darker outline where the closet met the wall. 

She pulled the sheet up under her chin, hands trembling.  “Who-who are you?”

The figure moved slightly, emerging into the thin, dim light. 

She saw the feet first, bare, and then cloth wrapping to shoulder, bare arms and hands, a stack of bracelets, an armband. 

The head remained obscured, but even in the dimness, she could tell it wasn’t human.  Large and square, with a huge, curved beak.  A glittering eye reflecting moonlight.

“Who am I?” the reply came in a scratchy, unused whisper.  “You should know.  You called me.”

The one in the bed drew back further.  “I-I called?”  Flashing thoughts reviewed her most recent phone calls and texts.  Nothing.

“In prayer,” came the crackly whisper.  “You called for a healer.”

True.  She had prayed, just that night, for help.  Help with the unraveling health, and guidance.

“Can you help me?” she asked.  “Heal me?”

“Where I come from, no one would ask that question.”

“Where do you come from?”

“Saqqara.  Egypt.  From the time before the desert, from the beginning.  From the green Nile and the rains making furrows in the holy Sphinx.  From those who read the stars and moved great stones.  They called me Horus.”

Neti Neti

*

*

More than this body of humming cells,

Swish of blood, strumming muscles

More than sweat or bones

More than ears missing tones

Clogged nose, unreliable eyes

Skin melting into wrinkled ridges

More than a restless mind,

Skittering thoughts to past or future

More than the mirror’s reflection

More than the labels, jobs, relations

Not this

Not that

Only breath

Only presence

Only now

Escondido

*

Photo by Daniel Jurin on Pexels.com

*

Turning right off the Pacific Coast Highway

the dirt road becomes sand

ocean fills my nostrils, my ears

at the road’s end is the house

bamboo blinds down, but waiting

*

While parents unload the car

I run across the patio

fling off my flip-flops

tumble downstairs to the beach

*

Hot sand and slick kelp

waves swirl to my knees

dogs splash and bark

my paradise, my ocean mother

I’m home again

After

*

Photo by Anthony DeRosa on Pexels.com

*

I have read that your loved ones greet you

at the end-of-life tunnel

You see their silhouettes against a glorious light

They welcome your spirit with love

once it’s shed the body, a discarded husk

*

I have wondered how–if I am met

by my mother’s spirit–

how she could also reincarnate again.

Can souls be in a body and the afterlife, too?

*

I have felt the rising pulse of awe

at the various and myriad forms of Creation

that burst from a pinpoint of light

and one single thought: to become

*

I have been in, and also out

I have risen in the violet flame

I have heard your moon song

I have sung you across the river